Staying, Not Falling, in Love

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Perhaps it’s because I got sucker-punched on the weekend by Vicky Cornell’s “A Love Letter to a Soulmate,” or maybe it’s simply because I’m a total sap still clinging to the belief that relationships, like learning, are a life-long endeavour. I don’t care if you’ve been married for 153 years, life is PEACHES AND CREAM! and you’re happier today than you were the moment that special someone walked into your life; the second you think you’ve got it all figured out when it comes to love, commitment and happiness is precisely the time you need to go in for an oil check and lube job at your nearest body shop.

For the most part, I dislike the whole “3/5/10/25 easy steps to…” approach to anything. Doubly so when it comes to human interaction, as there’s no formula for achieving all your interpersonal goals while also pleasing everyone you meet and petting your fragile ego so you don’t unlock that Pandora’s Box of insecurities.

That said, Christopher Connors (@Chris_Connors42) wrote what I think is a very cogent, succinct and relevant piece on this subject titled “The Five Keys to Commitment in Relationships.” Without droning on like a drone-like mosquito that just won’t go away, he neatly sums up five basic tenants to what is arguably the most important part of our lives: our significant other. How, after all, can we even pretend to be good parents to our children, good children/in-laws to our parents, dependable coworkers, and relatively happy people if we can’t even get things figured out on the home front?

Read the above link by Mr. Connors if you have the time. Otherwise, here’s his list summed up in five headings:

  1. Positive Experiences
  2. Going “All in” in thoughts, words and actions
  3. Eliminating distractions and temptations
  4. A willingness to understand things from your partner’s point of view
  5. What Matters Most
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