Jesse Sheidlower (@jessesheidlower) over at The New Yorker had a fantastic piece appear in the magazine a couple of months ago called “A Delightful Dictionary for Canadian English.” No surprise, then, that this post is dedicated to all those woeful souls in other countries who, over the years, have asked me, “Do you speak American?” (and something I got to poke fun at in the story “Everybody’s Dictionary (& Other Semantic Debacles).”)
Uhhhhhhhhhhh…only when south of the 49th?
However, I must say that question about my ability to communicate in “American” was only topped when a Canadian – a freaking CANADIAN! in frigging Canada – once asked me after learning that I lived in Korea for a decade, “So, like, do you speak Asian?”
Oy vey, I thought, wishing I’d responded, “Yes. I am fluent in Asian, England, Molson Canadian, European and several South Africas.”